The Drama Queen

I know I have mentioned, from time to time, that I am the reigning drama queen.  Today, it’s time to talk about how I know — the supporting evidence, as it were.  Over the course of my adult life, I have, on occasion, shown such diverse royal behaviors as sobbing with my hands over my face, moaning, “Why, why, why?”; stomping and fuming and refusing to listen when talked to; running, either figuratively or literally, at the first sign of disagreement or argument; yelling at the loudest volume my voice can reach, even when I have nothing to say.  These are simple examples — I have many, but they are too complex to include in a post.

Being drama royalty was a defense mechanism in my childhood and teen years, and by the time I reached my twenties, I was far too immersed in the character to stop.  Truth is, I don’t know that I would have left her behind, anyway.  She’d taken her place as part of my self, my being; the chances were 50/50 that I could even have survived without her at times.  She was strong when I was weak; she could turn up her nose at people who made me cry; she always said what she felt — said too much, when I couldn’t talk at all.

So when I got the message this morning, to “…say goodbye to…drama,” my first reaction was as strong as if someone had asked me to cut off an arm.  How could I possibly say goodbye to this queen inside me, who acted when I was paralyzed, and shouted when I was mute?  As with every other decision I’ve made lately, I had to decide to put her to rest.  Easy to say, not at all easy to do;  in fact, while I have put my own personal Norma Desmond in a box, I can hear and feel her banging on my brain every day, trying to come out for her performance.

I wish I could say I’ve put her out of my misery, as it were.  But she lurks within, simply waiting for her next line:  All right, Mr. DeMille, I’m ready for my close-up. 

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8 responses to “The Drama Queen

  1. Farewell Greta. Farewell.~
    And Hello genuine Judith!
    Incredible insights you continue to share. Do you realize what a blessing you are? That the things you share seem always spot on to where my path along my journey is?
    I love how serendipitous life can be.

    • I am always amazed by how close our life paths are to each other. The things you write often touch very closely on the happenings in my life. In fact, we seem to be walking mirror images in many ways; I think that is what drew us together! Whatever the reason, I’m very glad to have made such a lovely connection with you, milady! 8-)

  2. Well at least you know yourself.
    I am the British stereotype – stiff upper lip and all that. I’m not sure that I wouldn’t be better off like you. I bet you won’t get an ulcer :)

    • That will be one of the very few conditions I miss. Grab your upper lip with your fingers and give it a shake. Then say something terrible dramatic about wanting to be a drama queen. You’ll be flat out amazed! 8-)

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